FIGHTGIRL, SPOOKYMAN, PLANET CITY, GOSH scenes 1-7

10 Sep, 2024

I had become sick of Marvel and most superhero movies as early as 2016. My hatred for that genre was more passionate then than now, so I set out to write a screenplay in opposition of it. Instead of world ending stakes, it would be a simple story. Instead of a muscly dude or a female protagonist who fills a neoliberal role like espionage or jet pilots, it is just a nerdy girl trying to do the right thing in a world she is obsessed over but does not yet fully perceive in a healthy or mature way. Anyway, at the time it was my first attempt at a screenplay and I was only 18. My kind of humor at the time was edgy for the sake of edgy: sometimes funny, sometimes just no. The 2010s algorithms and the conversations around small town people affected my mind in not ok ways. Basically, I don't think I was mentally equipped enough yet as a human being to write magnetic dialogue or to conclude the themes of the story in a meaningful way. But I learn with time, and though I'm still not sure going back to this story is the right idea, I am already 30 pages in which is like, a third? So I don't think there's any stopping me now :) it's the 2024 sleeper hit of my current art projects, and going back to it - when it feels right - feels really right.

FADE IN:

EXT. SATURN RINGS - PLANET CITY ORBIT

• PAN, a walnut-shaped moon which cuts through Saturn's rings, was terraformed and colonized long ago:

• We are a camera atttached to the ext. of a PASSENGER SHIP approaching the tidally locked surface facing Saturn.

• Bathed in dim sunlight, covered in grassy hills, marsh valleys, and pockets of jungle spreading circularly.

• The grey-ish blue, human-made atmosphere packs densely over the surface and radiates far out, wisps like solar flares.

• Pan's tall, sharp equatorial ridge functions as a natural wall -- The Wall -- which segregates the grassy, patchy jungle from [swooping over said Wall]:

• PLANET CITY, an immensely dense skyscraper hemisphere caught in sunset and night, stretching out over 20 miles.

INT. PASSENGER SHIP - ORBITAL DESCENT - SUNSET

• Comic book upon a lap. It reads: "DUDEMAN, SHEPHERD OF THE SHEPHERD PAN, VERSUS HER HORRIFIC JUNGLE POCKETS AND VILLAINOUS ALLEYWAYS AMIDST OUR MIRACLE PLANET CITY." The cover: muscular DUDEMAN standing on top a heap of beat up villains who all look weirdly stretched thin.

• The lap said comic book floats upon belongs to FIGHTGIRL: buff, early 20s, shaky leg syndrome, superhero-like jumpsuit.

• Semicircular seating area. Chairs bolted to the floor and ceiling. Of the 40 or so seats, only five are occupied(ish): Fightgirl, strapped tight in one of the floor chairs; several rows away "stands" a tired STEWARDESS; tucked above in one of the ceiling chairs, a thin PLUMBER; floating happily next to plumber in zero-g, two TERRAFORMERS.

TERRAFORMER 1
You hear about the new fossil?

TERRAFORMER 2
Or the old one?

PLUMBER
Well, uh, no and no.

TERRAFORMER 2
Really! But it's only the talk of every moon.

TERRAFORMER 1
Not his. Five months with beautiful us and he's still thinking about his villainous rock!

• The terraformers laugh. Fightgirl reads her comic book.

PLUMBER
Look, plumbing Titan ain't easy.One minute, the pipes work and I'm freezing; the next, I'm warm and they don't.

TERRAFORMER 2
That's the nature of terraforming: change.

PLUMBER
You can't change gravity. A life in Planet City didn't prepare me for-

TERRAFORMER 1
Your first away job?

TERRAFORMER 2
Happy it's over?

PLUMBER
Yes and yes.

• Machinery fills the silence. Terraformer 1 looks around.

TERRAFORMER 1
Get many TOURISTS these days?

PLUMBER
No, not these days...

• Fightgirl flips through a scene involving two idiot bank robbers. Funny panel. Smiles. Glances up.

FIGHTGIRL
...What?

TERRAFORMERS AND PLUMBER
Hi.

• She waves and looks away.

TERRAFORMER 1
Where you from?

TERRAFORMER 2
What's your name?

PLUMBER
Which name?

TERRAFORMER 2
Huh?

PLUMBER
Villain's got two names.

FIGHTGIRL
'scuse me, but I'm Fightgirl and I am NOT a villain.

TERRAFORMER 1
Ok, but where you from?

FIGHTGIRL
Bumfuck, Ohio.

TERRAFORMER 1
(floating to her)
An Earthling!

TERRAFORMER 2
(floating too)
Visiting?

FIGHTGIRL
Moving. Permanently.

TERRAFORMER 2
Wow.

TERRAFORMER 1
When's your first crime?

FIGHTGIRL
Guys, I'm not a villain! I'm a superhero.

TERRAFORMER 2
A.. superhero? What's that?

FIGHTGIRL
Just an old word. I wanna be like Dudeman.

PLUMBER
S'what they all say, but there's ONE shepherd and always villains.

FIGHTGIRL
I said I wanna be LIKE Dudeman. No shepherding, just muscles and a need to punch bad people.

TERRAFORMER 1
Muscles, alright!

• Terraformer 1 pokes her bicep.

FIGHTGIRL
That tickles!

TERRAFORMER 2
How'd you stay in shape during space travel? You know Planet City's near zero-g, right?

FIGHTGIRL
I flex my muscles really hard when I'm board. Like this.

• She shuts her eyes and flexes her whole body really hard.

TERRAFORMER 2
..ok!

TERRAFORMER 1
They're pretty thin down there. What if they call you Fatgirl?

FIGHTGIRL
...I didn't think about that.

PLUMBER
Fatgirl--I mean--Fightgirl!

PLUMBER
Listen, Fightgirl, we got some vigilantes too, but it's a tough life out here. Eventually you learn a trade like me or you commit crimes to get by. You understand? It's hard. Not like the comics.

FIGHTGIRL
I know... but-

STEWARDESS
(slight jumpscare)
HI! We're beginning our descent now. Please fasten your seatbelts.

TERRAFORMERS
The desceeeent.

• They sit beside Fightgirl, one on each side. As they buckle:

FIGHTGIRL
Sooo like, who are you two?

TERRAFORMER 2
Recruiters! Wanna join?

TERRAFORMER 1
Terraformers from Titan. Tryna snag more funding from Corporateman.

PLUMBER
He's just a villain too.

TERRAFORMER 2
A big villain with big money!

FIGHTGIRL
Corporateman's interested in Titan?

TERRAFORMER 1
Early investments mean big bucks. Earth 2.0 is a couple generations away but there's valuable resources on Titan right now. My guess? It's because Planet City is a decaying piece of-

STEWARDESS
Welcome to Planet City, a miracle and beacon of hope.

EXT. PORT ENTRANCE - NIGHT

• A hole opens on top of the concrete jungle. Our passenger ship descends slowly.

INT. PASSENGER SHIP - TUNNEL DESCENT - CONTINUOUS

FIGHTGIRL
You know Ohio's gone, right?

TERRAFORMER 1
Yeah, yeah, Yellowstone eruption. "Never forget" and all that.

STEWARDESS
Born from the ashes of the 21st century, Planet city is the branchild of the prophetic Dr. Rot; as is Dudeman, his hold chi-

TERRAFORMER 1
No kidding. So he's a couple hundred years old?

FIGHTGIRL
Yup!

PLUMBER
That's what makes him the shepherd.

STEWARDESS
Yes, his longevity is a marvel we should all aspire for. as I was saying, the initial idea for Pla-

• Terraformer 2 fake snores. Terraformer 1 giggles.

STEWARDESS
Ok. Landing in Five. Thanks.

• Quickly sits away. Fightgirl smack's #2's arm.

TERRAFORMER 2
Owie!

FIGHTGIRL
I'm gonna kick your butt, bro.

• She unbuckles and floats to the stewardess. Her comic book floats between the terraformers.

PLUMBER
So what about that new fossil?

TERRAFORMER 1
Huh? Oh: a robot on Europa found a marine fossil. Billion years old.

PLUMBER
That's cool.

• The stewardess looks up and half smiles.

STEWARDESS
Buckle up, please.

FIGHTGIRL
Sure
(sits next to stewardess)
What was it you were gonna say?

STEWARDESS
Oh, just dumb stuff our boss makes us recite to visitors - mind you, no one does anymore.

FIGHTGIRL
Why's that?

• She takes a long look at Fightgirl and sighs.

STEWARDESS
You know, those men are right: this place is a dump. Every day there's less opportunities and less room.

FIGHTGIRL
So why doesn't the city spread over The Wall?

STEWARDESS
Ah, that's a can of worms I like to know little of.

FIGHTGIRL
Ok, well... I hope you're ok.

STEWARDESS
What?

FIGHTGIRL
You seem stressed. Are you ok?

STEWARDESS
Super. The Saturnalia Flight Monopoly got me on indentured servitude for another year, but it beats rotting in Villain Prison.

FIGHTGIRL
Oh.. want a hug?

STEWARDESS
No! But thanks, honestly.

INT. DOCKING TUNNEL - CONTINUOUS

• We're outside the ship again, slowly descending a vertically long and horizontally narrow tunnel.

• Balconies and tight alleys on all sides.

• On all floors stand at least one or two but mostly full posses of HECKLERS chucking empty / full soda cans.

INT. PASSENGER SHIP - TUNNEL DESCENT - CONTINUOUS

• The muffled thudding of a thousand cans.

PLUMBER
Home, sweet home.

INT. GRIMY PORT BAY - MEANWHILE

[to reduce description redundancy: unless stated otherwise, every Planet City native is remarkably thin to an alien degree. A multi-generational effect of low gravity.]

• PALE JANITOR stands to the side of the port bay holding a cheap plastic push broom, wearing a hard hat.

• Soda cans float gently down like snowflakes.

• A few brands: Corporate Coke by Corporateman; Europa Fizz (Europan glacier water); PAN (black metal satyr on can).

• The port bay, an impossible janitorial effort: cans, slops of.. what is that, food? And a thick fuel residue everywhere.

• Our ship finally lands, fanning cans to the perimeter.

• Pale janitor hides calmly behind a pillar.

• Engine off. Push broom to work.

• A ramp extends out of the ship. Stewardess stands at the top.

TERRAFORMER 1
(exiting ship)
Alright

TERRAFORMER 2
(exiting ship)
LET'S GO

• They kick off the ship and practically fly away.

• The plumber shoulders a duffel bag and tool bag, lightly exiting without a word.

• Fightgirl bumbles around the corner holding just her comic.

FIGHTGIRL
Thank you!
(hits head on low doorway)
Ow! Embarrassingggg.

• she tries again - stewardess grabs her.

STEWARDESS
Hang on..

• She holds her foot out, comparing with Fightgirl's ragged sneakers.

STEWARDESS
Same size? Good
(slips shoes off)
Sticky shoes. You'll need 'em.

FIGHTGIRL
What! Girl, no! Those are yours.

STEWARDESS
They're the company's. It's ok!

• Fightgirl, shoes in hand, says.......

• Stewardess looks for cameras - none - then hugs.

STEWARDESS
Bye. Good luck. Bye.

• Blushes and hurries back inside.

• Alone. Fightgirl sits and unties her sneakers.