FIGHTGIRL, SPOOKYMAN, PLANET CITY, GOSH scenes 13-19

11 Sep, 2024

INT. MONORAIL - RIDE TO VILLAIN PRISON - LATER

• Fightgirl wakes up in an egg-like monorail car. Handcuffed. She looks across at the only other passenger: Spookyman.

SPOOKYMAN
So what IS your favorite color?

FIGHTGIRL
Red. Blood. Just pure red. Hatred.

SPOOKYMAN
... Mine's magenta.

FIGHTGIRL
I just.. why would he- they-

SPOOKYMAN
I won't speak.

FIGHTGIRL
No, because they were all in on it! If YOU say the cops never go down there and the fucking news crew shows up out of nowhere- this is a scam! They were after YOU!

SPOOKYMAN
Huh-

FIGHTGIRL
They had a replica of your knife, dude. The one they faked in Dudeman's chest- man, that guy! Lit-er-a-ll-y my only idol.

SPOOKYMAN
Never idolize.

FIGHTGIRL
Aren't you angry!?

SPOOKYMAN
I process slowly. Gonna sulk in prison.

FIGHTGIRL
Great. A sulker.

• Seen through the window canopy: they emerge from a black tunnel into a vast, spaghetti-like underground containing hundreds of monorails sprouting to every possible direction. Fightgirl gasps.

SPOOKYMAN
See that? Total synthesis. State and Moon. Synonymous-

FIGHTGIRL
Planet City, yeah, yeah, thanks...
(sighs)
I'm starting to sulk.

SPOOKYMAN
Right? If they want us framed and gone, we're..

FIGHTGIRL
..O, I thought you had more to say.

• They cross the long expanse, winding past dozens of monorail lines, then enter another tunnel.

• Yellow and digital sign: "TO VILLAIN PRISON."

INT. VILLAIN PRISON - MONORAIL STATION - LATER

• Station: presumably once pristine white, now a sickly yellow.

• A baby blue metal desk stands six feet from the platform, occupied by DESK COP: three arms, one eye, middle aged.

• Fightgirl and Spooky's egg car pull up with a sudden halt.

• Wing door opens: Fightgirl, handcuffed and face-planted, her low-gravity hair showcasing the velocity and impact.

DESK COP
Hey, y'all! Welcome to prison! I just caught the whole Dudeman thing on my broadcast chip.

• Spookyman gently departs.

SPOOKYMAN
Home, sweaty home!

DESK COP
Welcome back, Spook.

SPOOKYMAN
Thank you very much - you know, I had a good thing going at the airport for a few years until Fatgirl here ruined it.

• Fightgirl lifts her head up. Spits out a mouthful of hair.

FIGHTGIRL
My name is Fightgirl!

SPOOKYMAN
Really?

DESK COP
No kidding! How come you didn't correct anyone on TV?

FIGHTGIRL
As you can see, I'm very stressed.

DESK COP
Well, I'll just go ahead and adjust the records on my Supercomputer Plus Plus Mega Yosemite.
(squints eye, types)
Let's see here... xx.. back.. annnd Fightgirl. Alright! Let's get you up and those handcuffs off.

• MONTAGE: he stands, helps her up, unshackles her and Spooky.

• Fightgirl rubs her dented wrists.

FIGHTGIRL
So you seem like an honest man. What's stopping me from fighting my way out of here?

DESK COP
Oh, well I have 56 death lasers pointing at y'all.

• Fightgirl only just notices the laser ceiling.

FIGHTGIRL
Oh, ok.

SPOOKYMAN
Duh.

FIGHTGIRL
I-.. ooo, you make me so mad.

DESK COP
Well, it's time to get along, because you two are cellmates!

FIGHTGIRL AND SPOOKYMAN
Huh..

INT. VILLAIN PRISON - CELL - LATER

• Fightgirl and Spookyman sit opposite from each other in an old school looking cell: small, concrete, and metal bars.

• Their rotting cellblock is packed with VILLAINS upon villains, rowdy and jeering. Just to name a few: BANANAMAN, ZUCK, SAM, MR. BATTLEMAGE, ROBERT 1.1, CANDYMAN, ELVIS IMPERSINATOR, etc.

SPOOKYMAN
This is stupid.

FIGHTGIRL
That's what I've been saying.

SPOOKYMAN
No, I mean being here in a cell with you. THIS is stupid.

FIGHTGIRL
BROTHER, please shut up.

SPOOKYMAN
Fake murder is stupid too.

FIGHTGIRL
You ever murder anyone?

SPOOKYMAN
Personal question.

FIGHTGIRL
Ok, so yes.

SPOOKYMAN
You must experience ego death.

FIGHTGIRL
What?

• Spookyman's eyes go black. A Spooky visoin forming...

FIGHTGIRL
(tone: like scolding a pet)
Oh, stop that!

• The vision pauses.

SPOOKYMAN
What?

FIGHTGIRL
No one wants to see that, bro.

SPOOKYMAN
...You're right.

• He curls into a ball and begins to sulk.

• She rolls her eyes and looks around. The villains yell and say uncouth things, but generally seem to be having fun.

• Fightgirl stands, paces a little, then jumps up to the window, grasping onto the metal bars:

• An enormous view of the monorail system, stretching into a foggy distance. Some lit windows and things echo back: small talk, dinner dates, clubbing, sirens, laughter.

• She floats down, lays down, sighs, shuts her eyes...

LATER

• She wakes up to a whispering.

• While the rest of the cell block snores, Spooky whispers through the bars to a SPANDEX SECURITY GUARD.

• Something ill-lit exchanges between their hands.

FIGHTGIRL
What's that?

SPOOKYMAN
Jungle Pocket, hybrid strain.

SPANDEX SECURITY GUARD
Ayye, Fatgirl! You're a legend.

SPOOKYMAN
It's Fightgirl.

SPANDEX SECURITY GUARD
Oh, word? That works too!

SPOOKYMAN
Want some?

FIGHTGIRL
Sure.
(Spooky tosses baggie, Fightgirl catches)
Hey, you're a guard, yeah?

• He smiles and, without a word, pulls on his spandex uniform like a rubber band. It smacks back against his skin.

FIGHTGIRL
(opens bag, chews on gummy)
Mkay. So why are we sharing a cell?

SPANDEX SECURITY GUARD
How so?

SPOOKYMAN
We're accomplices.

FIGHTGIRL
Hey- allegedly.

SPANDEX SECURITY GUARD
We're at full capacity. Back in the day - and somewhat still - this place was all for show: round up the villains of the week, stick 'em in here for b-roll, then let 'em back out for Dudeman's hunt. I don't know why, but the biggie wigs are DONE with villains.

SPOOKYMAN
AND the shepherd?

SPANDEX SECURITY GUARD
Evidently. Sorry to say, but you're locked up for good.

FIGHTGIRL
Ok, lot to unpack, but I more-so meant like.. we're boy and girl. Don't you segregate sex for like, Iunno, reasons?

SPANDEX SECURITY GUARD
I mean you're both gay, right?

• Fightgirl and Spooky: deer in headlights.

LATER

MATCH CUT: No longer deer. Their eyes, glazed and red.

SPOOKYMAN
We should do character intros.

FIGHTGIRL
...what...

SPOOKYMAN
I'm Spookyman..

FIGHTGIRL
uh-huh

SPOOKYMAN
I like to rob people at the airport, project psychologically traumatic visions onto my enemies, and go fishing... Next up: my friend the guard.

• Spandex Security Guard: empty space, long gone.

SPOOKYMAN
Oh. Your. turn..

FIGHTGIRL
I'm H- Fightgirl. III used to love Dudeman annnd I'mma Martian.

SPOOKYMAN
No, you're a Venusian.

FIGHTGIRL
Nuh-uh, Ol' Lunar colonies.

SPOOKYMAN
Uuuhhhhh wanna break out of here?

BANANAMAN
I HAVE A PLAN TO ESCAPE THIS HELL.

• All the prisoners jolt awake, some with a final loud snore and others grumbling or falling out of bunks (felony leaves on a gentle breeeeeze).

MR. BATTLEMAGE
What sorcery!?

ELVIS IMPERSONATOR
L-L-L-LISTEN up, beautiful people! Bananaman is homina-homina-hatching a plan to break outta jail!. House!

• The villains erupt into cheers, start banging on the bars.

ROBERT 1.1
I can make a bomb!

CANDYMAN
I can make a monkey chain out of candy canes!

• Candyman laughs maniacally.

BANANAMAN
WRONG! WE SHALL SIGN A PETITION!

• All the villains groan and crawl back into bed.

BANANAMAN
..GUYS? GUY SS?.. ELVIS?

ELVIS IMPERSONATOR
Ther'ain't uh ballpoint pen in this whole joint, daddy.

LATER

Spookyman: schlumped on the cell floor and slowly waking. First thing he sees (and hears): Fightgirl rattling the metal bars and making weird guttural noises.

SPOOKYMAN
Need something?

FIGHTGIRL
A guard- or is it warden? Whatever.

• She continues being weird. Nobody wakes up.

SPOOKYMAN
Obvious bait. Won't work.

UNSUSPECTING GUARD (OFF CAMERA)
Coming!

FIGHTGIRL
You're dumb. We're breaking out.

SPOOKYMAN
How-

FIGHTGIRL
Iunno, ever tried?

SPOOKYMAN
Many times.

FIGHTGIRL
Good!

SPOOKYMAN
But,

FIGHTGIRL
Ok.

SPOOKYMAN
We got close!

FIGHTGIRL
Sure. Who's we- SHH! Hey, hi!

• The UNSUSPECTING GUARD struts up with the middle age rizz and same spandex uniform as the other guard.

UNSUSPECTING GUARD Eyy, Fightgirl and Spookyman! Aha. What can I- oof`!

• She pulls one, two, three, four limbs through the bars.

FIGHTGIRL
Now what!?

SPOOKYMAN
Hogtie.

FIGHTGIRL
Uhh, with what?

UNSUSPECTING GUARD
(suspecting)
Wait a minute!

SPOOKYMAN
Uuuhh, ummm.

• The guard starts fidgeting and thrashing. Fightgirl reaches through, grabs his head, and slams him against the bars. Zzz.

• Then she grabs his radio and CRRRT,

FIGHTGIRL
(gurgley voice)
Release all the prisoners.

• ...

RADIO GUARD
Annnd who are we speaking to? Over.

• Fightgirl shoots a wild look at Spooky. He strolls over.

SPOOKYMAN
Dudeman's employer speaking. Ratings came back, anarchy needed. Do we have a problem? ASAP. Over.

RADIO GUARD
......C-c-copy, C-C-C-Corporateman.

• CRRRT... then, the great unlock of every cell and every cellblock in this expansive place. It reverberates far out.

• Fightgirl and Spookyman: shook, mouth agape, side eye.

• All doors begin to slide open, causing immediate concern for the four limbs moving toward a fatal squish.

• Fightgirl runs around and pulls the guard out, dropping him in the hallway. She looks out: all cel doors open and nobody moves a muscle. Snore, zzz, snore. Spookyman steps out.

FIGHTGIRL
Maybe we should lock 'em back up?

• We can already hear the other blocks cheering and escaping. Spooky whistles the Dudeman leitmotif. They jolt awake again.

MR. BATTLEMAGE
What sorcery!?

• A confusing second, then they cheer. Inmates, three stories high with no walkway, begin to float down.

SPANDEX SECURITY GUARD
(pouncing through door)
FREEZ- Oh gosh darn heck no!

• He runs away. Everyone stampedes and dives after him.

INT. VILLAIN PRISON - FRONT LOBBY - MOMENTS LATER

• A dingy entrance, ominous to a goofy degree. Loose LOBBY GUARD leans chair on back to legs. PCN INTERVIEWER sits lightly with skirt on cold metal desk.

LOBBY GUARD
Well, you should see the death laser monorail station we have down below. This lobby's just for show.

PCN REPORTER
As is much of the security here while nearing max capacity.

LOBBY GUARD
Can I speak off record?

PCN REPORTER
No.

LOBBY GUARD
I don't even keep my walkie on.

• She looks at him blankly then types in her notepad.

PCN REPORTER
Please continue, silly man.

LOBBY GUARD
Hey! I am an officer of the Law and there is nothing to worry about!

• Immediately: rowdy villains pour in from three separate doors thrown wide open. The guard and reporter jump 15 feet up and hang onto the lamp cables. Shoulder to shoulder to shoulder.

• The front doors explode. (Like, actually. No one's hurt.)

• A seemingly endless flow of villain escapees. Fightgirl and Spookyman enter the lobby and look up:

• Zuck, dressed like a fish man, jumps at the PCN Reporter. She yelps. He snaps his jaws and tries again.

• Fightgirl tackles him into the ceiling then throws him to the floor. Zuck looks up: Spookyman's black eyes.

• Fightgirl plants her sticky shoes on the ceiling and reaches out (or downward) toward the PCN Reporter, who grabs hold.

LOBBY GUARD
Hey! Help me too?

FIGHTGIRL
Don't wanna, byyyeee!

• Due to low-g's, Fightigirl has no problem cradle carrying the reporter away; their long hair shooting upwards. (downwards?)

PCN REPORTER
Thanks for the help, hero.

FIGHTGIRL
(blushes)
H-huh

PCN REPORTER
You're not seriously called Fatgirl, right? You seemed flustered by stardom.

FIGHTGIRL
Yeah, so my name is Fightgirl, uhhh

• She reaches the wall and adjusts her slow steps 90 degrees. The reporter's hair falls gently back (down), revealing face. Fightgirl's hair enraptures them in a New Space. Calm shield.

PCN REPORTER
Why don't we stay here a while?

FIGHTGIRL
We're 4 meters above a riot..

• The reporter takes a deep breath. Whether real of hallucinatory, the riot audibly dies away. Fightgirl gazes.

FIGHTGIRL
Wait are you a cop-

PCN REPORTER
(smiles)
NO. I'm a reporter for Planet City News. Say, how would you like to come back to HQ for a proper interview? You and I, no cameras.

FIGHTGIRL
Think I'm wanted for manslaughter.

PCN REPORTER
Well, however this all occurred, there'll be a whole lotta worse villains running around than supposed you. You're hot on the block, that's all. Toss a disguise on and the cops'll give up quick. So. HQ?

FIGHTGIRL
(thinking, then)
Can Spooky come?

PCN REPORTER
He gives me the ick.

FIGHTGIRL
No girl, he's actually ok.

• A hand reaches through the hair and grabs Fightgirl's collar. We are thrown back down into the riot.

• Thinned to a mere two dozen, all exiting, except for Bananaman: holding a clipboard, pen, and wild, dilated look.

BANANAMAN
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, THIS IS A LEGAL DOCUMENT. OUR VOICE IS ONE.

FIGHTGIRL
Two.

BANANAMAN
AAAHHH HMMMM. CAN I PUT YOUR NAME DOWN AND MAKE STUFF UP?

FIGHTGIRL
Bananaman, you know that is not right. It would be down right undemocratic. But sure.

• He furiously scribbles stuff down, then sprints out the door.

• Spooky emerges behind the last few stragglers.. Empty now.

FIGHTGIRL
Spookym she's a PCN report. She can take us to their HQ!

SPOOKYMAN
Who faked the murder?

PCN REPORTER
Faked?

SPOOKYMAN
Fake.

PCN REPORTER
Hey, I'm offering you and your buddy here a chance to clear your name across the whole solar system.

SPOOKYMAN
Do it then. Already. We don't need your help. We're not offering ours.

PCN REPORTER
(scoffs, turns)
Sorry, Fatgirl.

• The reporter storms out.

FIGHTGIRL
And what was that?

SPOOKYMAN
We don't work for them.

• Fightgirl cringes in anger, slowly collapses, stands and:

FIGHTGIRL
Ok, heard.

SPOOKYMAN
If we don't leave with the crowd we'll be swallowed by pigs.

FIGHTGIRL
I'm walking! Thanks.