"shh! Sounds From Kiki and Friends" script

10 Sep, 2024

"shh! Sounds From Kiki and Friends" is an 80 minute record I dropped in 2022 as King Kiva. To date, it's my most complete and ambitious work. Basically, the whole thing is a fictional band playing in a fictional venue wholly separate through space time which any willing person can access through seemingly any door at any place at any time. The only silly caveat is the venue is next door to a sleeping neighbor so everyone has to be quiet. Despite how out the some of the improvs are, how, much the genres jump all over the place, and how ridiculous some of the dialogue is in the skits, it was all beforehand strung together in a typed out script which I will paste here publicly for the first time :) I mean a lot of the music stuff was still spur of the moment stuff, but basically the limitation I set on myself when recording was that the amount of instruments could only match the amount of players on the stage (the only time I cheated was on Bursting Into Kaleidoscope with a double track guitar). And the thematic gist is each character, instrument, genre, etc. represents a different side of myself in a kaleidoscopic way. Also of course the final version of the album varies from the script in small ways. But anyway! Here it all is,

START SCRIPT

Text to speech, genderless LISTENER: Where did all the birds go?

A cacophony of city sounds erupt. Cars, horns, trucks, the babel of voices. Muffled sounds of instruments fade in. Listener opens a door, steps halfway into the sound of murmuring and tuning instruments.

KIKI: Hey LISTENER: Hmmm? (noise will be made with synth) KIKI: Shh! Shut the door.

Listener closes the door, steps inside.

Chairs squeak around while people get comfortable. Listener (presumably) takes a seat. Room quiets down. Not long after,

SONG: Bursting Into Kaleidoscope

KIKI: Looking glass
You piece of mass
You’re full of it
You’re gonna get hit
Why don’t you just enjoy yourself?
Well, now you should just brace yourself

One, two, three, four
Can I please hit you more?

I’m bursting into kaleidoscope
I’m bursting in, out of the bin
Swinging round at the end of rope to rope
Escaping into kaleidoscope

Camera
Shame on ya
You capture light
And assume it’s right
Well I don’t mind if my soul’s been grift
Just make me look pretty in the city

Five, six, seven, eight
Black holes are things to celebrate

I’m bursting into kaleidoscope
I’m bursting in, out of the bin
Just swinging round from rope to rope
And tumbling into kaleidoscope

Kiva town
We get down
Well, I ran into myself the other day
We kissed and then we looked away

Memories, leave me be
Memories, leave me be

END SONG.

Some audience members clap

KIKI: Hold it, hold it! Shhhh. First of all, thank you very much for showing up and thank you for showing your appreciation; me and the boys are flattered. The thing is we can’t make too much noise here, so if you want to clap, all we ask of you is to instead rub your hands together. Speaking of and second of all, let’s give warm thanks to Spookyman for playing the heck out of that organ.

Audience rubs hands.

KIKI: Now, I see quite a few new faces in here, so allow me to make a few quick announcements. My name’s Kiki, I sing and play guitar. On the bass, we have Gilgamesh the gibbon. Say hi, dude!

GILGAMESH: [howls]

KIKI: Alright, alright, shh. Remember, folks, that’s Gilgamesh. It’s very important to him we get his name right, so be respectful. Ok, last but not least: on the drums, on the synths, and on everything else, the enigmatic HAMVERBOT. Say, hi, Ham!

HAMVERBOT: [algorithm noises]

KIKI: Y’know, when Gilgamesh and I first met Ham he didn’t have a name? He still doesn’t, actually. You can call him Robot, Robert or whatever you like; HAMVERBOT’s just what we call him. Anyway, add all three of us up and you get King Kiva coming at you live. Now, you’re probably wondering how you got here. Obviously, you stepped through that door there, but all of you stepped through at a different time and place. Some of you come from the city, some from the sticks – there’s even a poet here from the Gobi desert! Shout out to the Silk Road and all that, y’know? But wherever you’re from, friends or strangers, welcome to our secret venue. You can leave anytime you want and return from where you came, of course, but you can also stay as long as you want. If you’re looking to study or chill, there’s a couple tables in the back. If you wanna dance, well, that’s what we’re here for! You’re welcome to play a song with us too. If you happen to get bored, we also have a TV I stole from a theater lobby and a practicing pole dancer. Just watch her from afar, okay? She likes to stay in her own world. Alright, um, I think that’s everything… actually, wait! One more announcement. It’s very important we remain as quiet as possible. There’s an old man sleeping upstairs and we don’t wanna interrupt his nap time. Okay, ready boys?

GILGAMESH and HAMVERBOT: [howling and algorithm noises]

KIKI: Ready, spaghetti, Mario Andretti.

SONG: solar_punk

KIKI: SO-LAR-PUNK

And grow and grow and grow and grow

The streets are losing sense of she
The houses morph in front of me
Their hand is really on their heart
They sing the anthem in the Walmart
Is the checkered flag of human race
Jeffrey launching into space?
I saw you there in the park
I think of you when it is dark
Kiss my eyes and hold my hand
Permablitz the silly land
Let’s build a house on golfy fields
Plant a seed and see what yields
Congregate and congregate
Down with bossy Billy Gates
I think I love you think it’s true
The cops are blue their wives are too
The color green looks pretty mean
The rich man’s bed got painted red

Are we all inside, underground love love?
Gotta love the Euclidean zoo
Kinda feel Kev’s gasoline blues
NIMBYs and NIMBYs picking up guns
Scared of refugees from Afghanistan
Underground love, underground love
Afghan kids are falling from above
Next time the sky is gonna turn red
Billionaires might wind up dead
But are we all inside, underground love love?

Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce
Throw a seed bomb in the concrete jungle
Throw, throw, throw, throw, throw!

Come back to me, underground love love
SO-LAR-PUNK

END SONG.

Audience rubs hands

KIKI: Alright, alright! Let’s get T up here!

TOMMY: [couple feet from mic] You fuckin’ kiddin’ me rn?

KIKI: Absolutely not.

TOMMY: Okay.

KIKI: Plug your guitar into HAMVERBOT and when I point at you just come in Juice n Java style. Ready, Gilg–? Hang on, where’s Gilgamesh, Ham?

HAMVERBOT: [defensive algorithm noises]

KIKI: Well, I hope he’s not looking for my fuzz pedal again. Think you can do bass on this one, Ham?

HAMVERBOT: [sassy algorithm noises]

KIKI: Period. I’m ready when you are.

SONG: relegated to lunch

KIKI: Must’ve been something I said before
I’m a bore
Fork in my hand, watching TV
You’re not looking at me
Should I lighten the mood?
How’s your food?
Good-
-was all you could…
Say, sunny day
Won’t you shine on us?
Bus, looking at us
Ready to clean our mess up.
And I’ve got a big, big, big hunch
That I’m relegated to lunch
Hey, cloudy May
Gotta say, you fit on us
Busser looking at us-
“-sir, mind if I clean this mess up?”
And I’ve lost all sense of hunch
I’m relegated to lunch

END SONG.

Audience rubs hands.

GILGAMESH: [honks]

KIKI: Oh! Hey, Gilgamesh. What’s that you got ther-? Wait. WAIT. Gilgamesh n-!

Gilgamesh kicks the fuzz pedal on and slaps the bass. He howls.

KIKI: [low volume] SHH! Hey, no! We’re go- [HAMVERBOT turns mic up] -nna wake up the old man! Ham, come on, don’t level me with the fuzz! This song is too loud!

HAMVERBOT: [argumentative algorithm noises]

KIKI: I written a guitar part yet!

AUDIENCE MEMBER: Just sing it!

KIKI: Well… okay, but.

SONG: gibbon dayzzze

KIKI: But just this once!

Cookie cutter monkey
Cookie cutter monkey
Where ya going with your money,
Cookie cutter monkey?

I wanna
I’m gonna
Go get some marijuana

Cookie cutter monkey
Cookie cutter monkey
Now look, you’ve lost all your money
Mr. Cookie cutter monkey

But I wanna
So I’m gonna
Go get some marijuana

The police
And the lease
Do not bring me any peace

Better get a job
Better get a stupid job
Debtor better get his money
So job until you get the gob
Gob of phlegm inside your throat
Stemming from the need to float
And cookie cutter monkey
You still don’t have your stupid fucking money

But I wanna
So I’m gonna
Go steal some marijuana

If police
And the lease
Do not bring me any peace

Why should we
And plus me
Give trust to this sovereignty?

Return to monke

END SONG.

Audience rubs hands. Some clap.

KIKI: Shh! Shhhhh. Remember, no clapping. And no more fuzz, okay, Gilgamesh?

GILGAMESH: [inquisitive honk]

KIKI: Of course there’ll be another time, but now we gotta be quiet. Speaking of, I’d better go check on our sleeping neighbor. Fightgirl, you ready?

FIGHTGIRL: Just about.

KIKI: Great. Hey, did you see Spookyman earlier?

FIGHTGIRL: I recorded his performance, but I didn’t have my superhero fit on at the time, so.

KIKI: Hiding in plain sight, huh? When’d you last speak? It’s been a couple years, no?

FIGHTGIRL: Not since the Corporateman incident.

KIKI: Well, Spooky, if you’re still out there, you two got some catching up to do. Hey, everyone! Fightgirl’s gonna flip a sample around for a couple minutes. I’ll be right back.

Audience rubs hands together.

SONG: Planet City garbo fuck 12

END SONG.

Audience rubs hands together.

SONG: cien años

[OFF SCRIPT NOTE, I think I copy pasted the lyrics to this song I did not write because I planned on recording the vocals in spots where I might not have had WiFi. Most times during the recording process of this album it was in my car, but in this case I ran off to a motel room across the street from the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk to record the vocals for this song, for gibbon dayzzze, and for all the skits. That being said I love this song Cien Años and it's the only cover I have recorded and released as King Kiva. I think I still botched the vocals but I really tried for a while to get it right.]

Pasaste a mi lado
Con gran indiferencia
Tus ojos ni siquiera
Voltearon hacia mi.

Te vi sin que me vieras
Te hable sin que me oyeras
Y toda mi amargura se ahogo
Dentro de mi.

Me duele hasta la vida
Saber que me olvidaste
Pensar que ni desprecio
Meresca yo de ti.

Y sin embargo sigues
Unida a mi existencia
Y si vivo cien anos
Cien anos pienso en ti

END SONG.

Audience rubs hands together.

KIKI: Alright, I’m back! [“woo!”] shh! The old man is sleeping again. I apologized for the noise and fed him some mac n cheese. There’s some leftovers right over there if anyone is feeling hungry. Okay! You’re all in for a treat now, bc me and the boys are gonna play our upcoming ep for you all. It’s called Yawning Faster Than Light. We don’t have an album cover yet, so if any of you wanna take a stab at it, be my guest. Ready, boys?

HAMVERBOT AND GILGAMESH: Algorithm and howling noises.

KIKI: Let’s go.

SONG: I. pontificating jerk

Asteroid resort bamboo
Future’s got black holes in view
Bf pontificating to you
Abandoning to Mars – he’s red, you’re blue

Better go back to earth
Ignore feelings of dearth

END SONG.

SONG: II. HOMER’S SCRIPT

Desert town
Desert town

Wander round, you’ll be here for a while
You’re spaceship crashed oh, bout a mile away
Pockets are empty, the wind chills your spine
Help wanted says the sign

Welcome to,

H-O-M-E-R-S
S-C-R-I-P-T
Let me explain the whole mess
You sell scripts from the 21st century
Your boss a gray alien, like X-Files
Scavenging fossil servers
Every day for six hours
You wander aisles

But sometimes you decrypt
The forgotten scripts

Chopin, why’d you go
To the snow?
“I’m just a little egg!
Much smaller than the minotaur’s leg”
And Aimee, why’d you cry?
“It’s because the ash in the sky
Hid all of my friends from me
And now I’m stuck at Lick Observatory”
And Kabili, it isn’t silly
To wear a dress and tuck and think you look pretty
And way out beyond the door
Somewhere in the feminine
Kiki, she’s singing again

Been a year
Been a few years
Chandelier hangs totally still
Just enough to pay the bills
Sick of everyone though they’re still the same
You’re the only one to blame

Here we go again
Here we go again

“No, you’re fired!”

END SONG.

SONG: III. desert jam !!

Just how did your life erode to this?
Eviction dismissing you with a hiss
The snakes don’t care if you’re alive or dead
So you’d better split town instead

Into the desert you go
Maybe you’ll run into Calypso
Maybe bones of Tyrannosaurus
Just how did your life erode to this?

“Come here,” said the old man
“I got some water, a load of cash, and a fan
Take it all and ignore the dearth
Fuck your baggage, find a passage, and leave earth”

END SONG.

SONG: IV. YFTL

Asteroid resort bamboo
Existential thoughts, boo hoo
You got nothing else to do
Back to outer space, and deja vu

END SONG.

Audience rubs hands together.

KIKI: Thank you! Thanks. Glad you like it. Boys, why don’t you take a quick break? Stay close, though!

GILGAMESH AND HAMVERBOT: Algorithm and howling noises.

KIKI: Y’know, the other day I was messing around with my guitar pedals and I found this interesting tone that I would now like to show all of you. I wasn’t sure I could recreate it, so I recorded it then. I can play this thing, though. [generator turns on]

SONG: Kiki’s sus generator

END SONG.

Audience rubs hands together.

KIKI: You like it? I was thinking about writing some lyrics, but I don’t know. Wait a minute is that… Kevin?

KEV: [distant] Huh? KIKI: Kev!! Get up here right now!

KEV: Okay.

KIKI: And bring that guitar, too. Everyone! This is my coworker Kevin Costa.

Audience rubs hands together.

KIKI: When did you sneak in here?

KEV: Just a couple minutes ago. Slipped in through my closet door.

KIKI: That’s great. Think you could play us something?

KEV: Sure.

KIKI: Fabulous. Okay, the stage is all yours.

KEV: [to audience] Hello.

SOME: Hi.

KIKI: [distant] shh!

SONG: Kev’s song

It’s kinda funny just what you people think of me
You think I’m so ugly
“Who is this guy?
Seems too nice”

“Wait so you’re telling me he’s straight edge? Like he’s never… or like… okay… and he’s been in a single relationship… and he’s just like some cute innocent boy that lives, like, by the ocean… I don’t know, I don’t know. I just feel like there’s something - like he’s hiding something.”

That’s what you guys sound like
“Gonna make up my own version of you”
This is you talking still
“There’s nothing you can do

And here’s what I say:
I’m running away and I mean what I say END SONG.

Audience rubs hands together.

KIKI: Alright! Kev, let me ask you something: are you a fan of Bob Dylan?

KEV: Yeah. Is it obvious?

KIKI: No, not at all. Just curious.

GILGAMESH: [howls]

KIKI: What’s that, Gilgamesh?

GILGAMESH: [howls again]

KIKI: Now? Okay! Kev, Gilgamesh wants to improv a little lick and we are wondering if you’d like to join us?

KEV: Uhh, I can’t improv

KIKI: You only need to strum one chord.

KEV: Oh, okay.

KIKI: You too, Ham.

HAMVERBOT: [angry algorithm noises]

KIKI: Please! The song wouldn’t be the same without you.

HAMVERBOT: [inquisative algorithm noises]

KIKI: No, Gilgamesh has the tempo. We’re gonna follow his lead.

HAMVERBOT: [angry algorithm noises]

KIKI: It’s okay if you mess up, hon. I know I will.

HAMVERBOT: [hesitant but agreeing algorithm noises]

KIKI: Great.

KEV: What chord am I playing? KIKI: D major

KEV: Written any lyrics?

KIKI: Not really. I’ve been using that one short poem you sent me a couple weeks ago.

KEV: Oh, God. But it’s so corny.

KIKI: I think it’s wonderful.

KEV: [HD mic] really?

KIKI: 100%. Ready, boys?

SONG: snake snummer

You stole my coffee from me, homie
I thought you were nice
But you’re not nice
You’re cold as ice
And now it’s September, November, December
Not another snake snummer bummer

END SONG.

Audience rubs hands together.

KIKI: Well, what’s next?

Suddenly the listener steps back outside and shuts the door, returning to the city. It’s a bit quieter than before.

END SCRIPT

Any changes made to the dialogue were recorded after this was written. Apparently the file was last modified on June 10th, 2022. shh! dropped July 1st, 2022.